Bianco 'The Canary' Comăneci

太累了

太累了

A stage script

Characters

  • INTERVIEWER
  • STUDENT

Scene
A formal interview room in London. A table, two chairs, a folder of papers. The STUDENT looks travel-worn and increasingly baffled.

INTERVIEWER
Welcome to the United Kingdom. I’m pleased to inform you that you’ve arrived and cleared immigration.

STUDENT
So tired.

INTERVIEWER
So, tell me about your visit. I see you plan to work in a menswear store near Hampden?

STUDENT
Sold tie.

INTERVIEWER
What was the score at half-time?

STUDENT
It’s all tied.

INTERVIEWER
I see you’re planning to travel to Scotland again. I hope you remembered the weather up there.

STUDENT
So dire.

INTERVIEWER
You’re a student of physics, too. How would you fix the hole in the space-time continuum?

STUDENT
Sew tear.

INTERVIEWER
Where would you find the energy to do that — eat potatoes?

STUDENT
Sautéed.

INTERVIEWER
If you did that, I’d eat my hat. Your grandfather went bald and wears a wig?

STUDENT
Sewed hair.

INTERVIEWER
And the car you arrived in broke down, and you repaired the puncture single-handedly?

STUDENT
Sew tyre.

INTERVIEWER
You tried hard to sort it while alloy-wheel thieves drove past in their droves?

STUDENT
Sawed tyre.

INTERVIEWER
And they didn’t threaten you?

STUDENT
Saw dare.

INTERVIEWER
Then a passer-by saw you sitting at the roadside catching forty winks?

STUDENT
Saw tired.

INTERVIEWER
While there was ice on the roads you crossed?

STUDENT
Salt tyre.

INTERVIEWER
Any baggage in the boot?

STUDENT
Thought tied.

INTERVIEWER
You must be exhausted. What did you say your name was again?

STUDENT
太累了.

Beat.

INTERVIEWER
I’m sorry, could you repeat that?

STUDENT
太累了.

Blackout.

* If you want, I can also format this like a proper play page with character cues, pauses, and performance directions.

A young Chinese PhD student has worked hard to earn a visit to London where he will participate in a human rights conference. Having left his smartphone at the Stansted hotel, he finds himself without a dictionary for his classified masterclass interview. We pick up the conversation here:

  • So, welcome to the United Kingdom. I’m pleased to inform you you’ve landed and cleared your immigration.
  • So tired.
  • So, tell me about your visit. I see you plan to work in a menswear store near Hampden?
  • Sold tie.
  • What was the score at half-time?
  • It’s all tied.
  • Okay. I see you’re planning to travel to Scotland again. I hope you remembered about the weather up there.
  • So dire.
  • So, you are a student of physics, too. How would you fix the hole in the space time continuum?
  • Sew tear.
  • Where would you find all the energy to do that, eat potatoes?
  • Sautéed.
  • Wow, if you did that I’d eat my hat. Your grandfather gone bald and wears a wig?
  • Sewed hair.
  • And the car you were in to get here broke down and you repaired the puncture single-handedly?
  • Sew tyre.
  • Tried hard to sort it while alloy wheel thieves drove past in their droves?
  • Sawed tyre.
  • And they didn’t threaten you?
  • Saw dare.
  • Then a passer by saw you sitting at the road side catching forty winks?
  • Saw tired.
  • While there was ice on the roads you crossed?
  • Salt tyre.
  • Any baggage in the boot?
  • Thought tied.
  • You must be exhausted. What did you say your name was again?
  • 太累了

2 responses to “太累了”

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    admin

    http://tiny.cc/1551739

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  2. admin avatar
    admin

    « Plus près du taux je ne puis. »
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    • fangxiang (方向 – direction)
    • dingwei (定位 – orient / oriented)
    • daoxiang (导向 – orient-based / guidance)
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    51–75: Grammatical Connectives & Functional Particles
    • zhe (这 – this)
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    • he (和 – and)
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    101–108: Individual Letter Equivalents (Pinyin Phonetics)
    • zimu_o (字母O)
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    • zimu_i (字母I)
    • zimu_e (字母E)
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    • zimu_b (字母B)
    • zimu_a (字母A)

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